5 Fun Activities to Use if You Have a Picky Eater

Let’s face it: picky eating is right up there with stepping on a LEGO or losing your keys just as you're about to leave the house—stressful, annoying, and something we’d all love to avoid.

As a holistic pediatric health practitioner, I've seen my fair share of tiny food critics - about 80% of them being picky eaters at various degrees - and believe me, picky eating can turn mealtimes into a full-on battleground. But don't worry, I’ve got your back!

I’m here to share my top 5 strategies to help make eating less of a struggle and more of a fun adventure for everyone involved.

Now, before we dive into the fun stuff, let’s clear up a common misconception.

Not all picky eaters are created equal. There’s a big difference between a true picky eater and what I like to call a selective eater. Think of a true picky eater as a child whose list of "approved" foods could fit on a post-it note, and this phase can last for years.

On the other hand, selective eaters go through phases (like the peaky eating stage) where one day broccoli is the enemy, but the next day, it’s back on the menu. If you're wondering where your little one falls on this spectrum, you're in the right place.

Ready to get started? Let’s jump in!

Understanding Picky Eating: What’s Normal and What’s Not

Picky eating is tough, but the good news is that it's perfectly normal, especially in children between the ages of two and four.

If you’ve ever faced the daily dinner table drama, you’re definitely not alone. During this stage, many kids go through what seems like an endless cycle of rejecting foods they once loved and deciding that everything green is clearly inedible.

But here's the thing: this is a normal phase, one that most children outgrow as they get older and more adventurous with their food choices.

However, today we're going to focus on the other side of the spectrum—a true picky eater.

This is the child whose limited food preferences aren’t just a phase but seem to stretch endlessly into childhood and beyond. These little ones can’t just “grow out” of their pickiness because, for them, certain foods are simply off-limits.

Their reactions aren't about being stubborn or difficult; they genuinely cannot tolerate certain textures, tastes, or smells. We’ll dive into some specific examples shortly, but first, it’s crucial to distinguish whether your child is simply going through a picky phase or if they’re a true picky eater, where food aversions are a major concern.

Now, a quick word of advice: be mindful of the language you use when talking about your child’s eating habits. Labels can stick, and the last thing we want is to reinforce a negative relationship with food.

Phrases like "you’re such a picky eater" or "you don’t like this" can easily become self-fulfilling prophecies. Instead, focus on the positive and avoid defining your child by their eating preferences.

I personally avoid calling any child a picky eater, and I encourage you to do the same. Let's work together to create a positive mealtime environment, where exploring new foods is exciting, not stressful.

So, take a deep breath, and let’s continue this journey with kindness, patience, and a little bit of fun!

The Connection Between Picky Eating and Sensory Processing

Picky eating doesn’t always come alone—it often brings some friends to the party, like autism, ADHD, or sensory processing challenges. Now, I’m not saying these things are always linked, but in my clinical experience, I’ve seen that picky eating can often be connected to sensory processing challenges or sensory processing disorder.

Think about it: when you eat, you’re engaging all five senses—the taste, smell, look, sound, and feel of food. For some kids, this sensory overload can make mealtimes a real challenge.

Children who struggle with sensory processing may find themselves overwhelmed by the sensory properties of food. For these true picky eaters, the list of "acceptable" foods is usually pretty short—think ten or fewer. And that list can shrink even more over time.

What’s more, they’re not just picky about what they eat; they might not even be able to be in the same room as a non-preferred food. The mere sight or smell of it in the kitchen can trigger a big reaction. And putting that food on their plate? Forget about it.

Picky eaters often have noticeable sensory processing challenges in other parts of their daily lives, too. You might see them struggling with things beyond food, like clothing textures or certain types of movement.

Some kids are sensory avoiders, unable to tolerate certain fabrics on their skin or getting overwhelmed by too much activity. Others might be sensory seekers, always on the move, craving intense sensations and stimulation.

These sensory challenges often show up in more ways than just eating, so it’s important to look at the bigger picture.

Communication can also be a significant barrier for picky eaters. If a child is preverbal, uses a communication device, or relies on sign language, they may struggle to express their discomfort or preferences around food.

And then there’s the issue of low muscle tone—many picky eaters have low muscle tone throughout their bodies, including in their mouth and oral structures. This can make chewing and swallowing a variety of foods difficult. Some children may also have tongue ties or lip ties, which can further complicate their relationship with food.

So, now that we’ve laid out the groundwork, it’s time to dive into some strategies to help if you’re dealing with a picky eater. We’re going to share five strategies that you can start trying today.

Remember, there’s a lot of information coming your way, so try not to feel overwhelmed. The key is to focus on one strategy at a time. Give each one a consistent effort for a week or two before moving on to the next. You’ve got this—let’s do it!

Strategy #1: Go Slow and Make It Fun

When it comes to tackling picky eating, one of the best strategies is to slow things down and inject a bit of fun into the process. It might sound counterintuitive, but the less pressure you put on your child to eat, the more likely they are to actually try new foods.

The trick is to follow their lead, making mealtimes a low-pressure, enjoyable experience.

Based on both clinical experience and personal practice, I’ve found that when kids feel relaxed and in control, they’re much more open to expanding their food horizons. Here’s how you can do this:

Make mealtime or playtime an opportunity to talk about food in a way that’s fun and non-threatening. Discuss the color, texture, feel, and even the sound of the food. Does it make a crunch when you bite it? Does it change color when it’s cooked or cooled? Engaging all their senses can help your child become more comfortable with new foods.

While it’s important to go slow, it’s equally crucial to be consistent. Establish simple, stress-free rules like "you don’t have to eat it, but you do have to lick or kiss it." This tiny step can help them get used to the idea of trying new things without feeling overwhelmed.

Always include a mix of preferred and non-preferred foods on your child’s plate. If your child absolutely refuses to have a certain food on their plate, provide a "no thank you" bowl where they can move it themselves. The more they interact with the food—even if it’s just moving it around—the more familiar it becomes.

For older kids with limited food preferences, try turning the experience into a challenge. Create a chart of non-preferred foods that you’d like them to try. Set a goal to try each food 20 times. They can help pick the foods, make the chart, and check off each try. After 20 tries, celebrate with a small reward. This approach helps them understand that trying new foods isn’t about suddenly loving them—it’s about getting used to them and being more accepting.

Remember, this is a marathon, not a sprint. Progress might be slow, and that’s okay. The goal isn’t to force your child to love every food, but to gradually increase their tolerance and willingness to try new things. Patience and consistency are key.

By making food exploration a relaxed and enjoyable process, you’re more likely to see progress over time. So take it slow, keep it fun, and watch as your child’s relationship with food begins to shift!

Strategy #2: It’s Okay Not to Like Everything

Let’s be honest—not everyone loves every food, and that’s totally okay! The second strategy is all about taking the pressure off and letting your child know that it’s perfectly fine not to like everything.

This approach builds on what we’ve already discussed: engaging with food without the expectation of eating it. The goal here is to create positive, low-stress interactions with food, making it easier for your child to eventually try new things.

Encourage your child to touch, handle, and explore the food without any expectation of them eating it.

For example, if your child isn’t a fan of eggs, involve them in the process of peeling a hard-boiled egg. They don’t have to eat it—they’re just helping you out. This simple act of engaging with the food in a non-threatening way can gradually build their comfort level.

Make it clear to your child that they don’t have to eat the food right away. By lowering the stakes, you remove the anxiety that often comes with trying new foods. The goal is to help them become familiar with different foods through touch, smell, and even just being around them.

By taking the pressure off and allowing your child to explore food without the expectation of eating it, you’re creating a positive, stress-free environment that can lead to more adventurous eating over time.

Remember, it’s not about getting them to eat everything right away—it’s about making sure they feel safe and comfortable enough to eventually give it a try.

Strategy #3: Get Them Involved in Meal Prep

Another great strategy is to involve your child in the meal preparation process from start to finish. This can start with planning the meal together—deciding what’s for dinner, making the grocery list, and even heading to the store to pick up the ingredients.

For sensory seekers, activities like pushing the grocery cart or carrying heavy items, like a gallon of milk, can be especially satisfying. When you get home, let them help unload the groceries, put things away, and start prepping for the meal. Whether it’s washing veggies, stirring a pot, or setting the table, find ways for your child to engage with the food.

If you have multiple children, you can make it even more fun by rotating who gets to help with meal prep each day. This involvement not only makes them more likely to try the food they helped prepare, but it also gives them a sense of accomplishment and teaches important life skills.

Strategy #4: Get Them Involved in Cleanup

Another effective strategy is to involve your child in the cleanup process after the meal.

In our house, the rule is that everyone takes their plate to the sink or dishwasher and loads it—sometimes it’s a battle, but more often than not, it’s just part of our routine.

Engaging with food at every stage, including cleanup, helps desensitize picky eaters to foods they might usually avoid. Whether it’s rinsing off dishes, loading the dishwasher, or even washing dishes by hand, involving your child in this process can be incredibly beneficial.

For those who struggle with touching or even looking at certain foods, wearing gloves can help them feel more comfortable. In the past, I’ve worked with children where they didn’t eat the non-preferred food, but they still had to take the plate to the trash and dispose of the leftovers.

Whether they’re dumping the food out or scraping it into the trashcan, incorporating them into the cleanup routine is a valuable step in making them more comfortable around food.

Strategy #5: Embrace Messy Play

The final strategy is all about embracing messy play. Engaging your child in activities like playing with shaving cream, applesauce, or sensory bins filled with rice, beans, or corn can be incredibly helpful.

These activities allow the tactile system to better process sensory input, which can translate to more ease at the dinner table.

Many picky eaters are also tactile-sensitive—they don’t like getting their hands messy.

By encouraging them to play with messy textures, you help their bodies learn to process different types of input more effectively. If you can incorporate food into these activities, even better!

For example, you might pour some yogurt onto a plate and have the child place raisins into it and then scrape it all into the trash. They’re not eating the food, but they’re engaging with it in a fun, non-threatening way.

The key is to keep these experiences positive and stress-free. We want to create an environment where eating is seen as a natural, enjoyable part of life, free from pressure or negativity.

Wrapping It Up

As we’ve mentioned, if you have major concerns, it’s crucial to address any underlying issues first. Whether it’s a medical condition or something related to their oral structures causing a safety concern, make sure to tackle that before diving into these strategies.

Additionally, don’t overlook the importance of gut health and a balanced microbiome.

The gut microbiota play a significant role in signaling the brain about the nutrition the body needs, which can be especially important for picky eaters.

By supporting your child’s gut health, you might find it easier to introduce new foods and improve their overall eating habits. Once those bases are covered, give one of these activities a try and see how it goes!

We’d love to hear about your experiences—what worked, what didn’t, and any creative twists you added. Thanks so much for being here, and we look forward to chatting with you next time!

Much Love and Healing,

xx Bettina